Unexpected Joy

Dear Readers, 

This Christmas Day, I find myself contemplating hope. It's this incredible thing that can impact every difficult situation in our lives. This season is a true reminder of our ability to hope in the unexpected. 

The Christmas story might be one that we zone out on during a church sermon or when watching a Christmas movie. But there is something so uniquely powerful about the hope we find in this story that puts our lives into perspective. I am awed by the unexpected pieces of Christ's birth, like the virgin mother, a king born in a manger, and a poor little baby born to save the world. I think of the power these qualities have in the story. We would still worship Jesus if he was born in a palace and we would still trust in him if Mary and Joseph had been wealthy. We would still find meaning in serving a God who was in a blood line of kings. 

But the meaning is so much deeper. Much of my reflections in this blog are about our society and how we treat those who are marginalized. These are the people who we don't see as normal. Marginalized people are the poor, the disabled, and the minorities, just to label a few. 

The first part of the Christmas story that amazes me is when I realize that Jesus was in this category too. His mother was the talk of the town because she was pregnant before marriage and his father was just a carpenter, a low- level worker. They were from the lowliest of towns, and they were rejected, with no room, even in an inn. 

The other part of the Christmas story that amazes me is the unexpectedness of it all. It was so out of the ordinary, to us. But to God, this was the plan all along. 

These two pieces join together to fill my heart with joy today, and I hope they give you joy as well. See, if someone who was an outcast to society was born to save the world and if this whole plan was out of our realm of possibility, then it doesn't matter who we are when we consider the impact we can make on the world. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, white or black, disabled or able, a girl or a guy, or a genius or an average joe. God has plans for all people regardless of the characteristics our human eyes might see. 

Then, when we understand our value in God's plan, we add God's unexpected twists in the plots of life. Only then can we truly realize that no matter what difficult circumstances come our way, there is always possibility for change. There is always room for God to do something that seems so bizarre to us but so natural for him that can make even the most painful of struggles end. 

So this Christmas and in the new year, remember that you can change the world, no matter who you are, as long as you have God on your side. He's bigger. He's stronger. He's unexpectedly greater than anything we can imagine. 

Sing as one, 

Sjc

The Gift of Consideration

Dear Readers, 

In this season of shopping for gifts, finishing up classes or projects at work , and traveling or preparing to be with family , there can be a lot of stress on everyone's shoulders. But consider for a minute the additional stresses that can come, especially in this time of year.

I experienced two particular things today that you might not think about if you don't have a disability. The first was the difficulty of traveling around town in winters weather. We so often plow and salt roads, but we too easily forget to care for sidewalks the same way. Last week I found myself complaining (silently to God really) that the sidewalks weren't plowed, as I got quite the upper body workout pulling a suitcase through a foot of snow just to get to a bus stop a mile down the road. This weekend, my complaints changed. 

Today, the sidewalks were plowed. When I returned to the city last night after traveling across the state, I was so excited to see the plowed areas. However, I didn't notice that they were still difficult for traveling until the next morning. I got up early to head downtown for some errands. I walked briskly across the parking lot, and bam. I found myself flat on my back in the middle of the street that I was crossing to get to the sidewalk. I was in pain, but I got up and kept walking. I sort of I've skated through the next parking lot and trudged through the two foot snowdrifts to the main road with plowed sidewalks. Bam. Flat on my back again. This time, I got up, but I turned back for my apartment. 

Should I call a cab? No, that's so expensive. Should I just stay home today? No, I really need to get stuff done before Christmas. These were my thoughts as I considered what my options could be for traveling around town. I finally decided to wait an hour, since I knew I had already missed the bus with my icy delays. I decided to try walking to the bus again, only because it was cheaper. 

This time, I was armed. I took some of the salt that my landlord keeps inside our apartment building. I sprinkled salt when I felt like I was skating. I took twice the normal time to walk to the bus. This time, I fell twice more, much harder than before. But I did arrive to do my errands. 

The second struggle was actually when I had transportation. I took the bus for people with disabilities to Meijer so that I could buy a few additional Christmas gifts. I waited in the half hour checkout line just like everyone else. However, I was going to miss my ride back to my apartment because of this long line. I stood there trying to decide if I should abandon my shopping cart just to make my ride. Then I thought of the two full hours it took me just to locate the. 15 items in a crowded and overstocked store. I chose to stay in line, knowing that I would be in jeopardy of losing my access to the transportation service by not showing up for my ride.  It ended up working out that the driver was waiting for me anyway, but the principle is the same. When someone has access to a car, they have access to choice about when and where to go. Without that livery , there is great limitation. 

Consider the natural stresses of this season. Then add a few bruises, an aching back, extra time, and lack of choice. It's amazing how inaccessible our holiday routines can be for some people. Then I think about people with even bigger struggles than me. What about the woman in a wheelchair who literally can't power through the snow? What about the man using a walker who would be far more than sore the next morning after falling on ice? What about the people who are too scared, too weak, or too uneducated to just keep trying for independence no matter how hard it might be today? 

Food for thought. In this season, when things seem overwhelming to you, stop for a moment. When you burn the sugar cookies, wait in endless checkout lines, scrape off your windshield, or fight with tangled Christmas lights, remember that there are challenges for everyone. Consider the struggles of others. That may be the best gift you can give someone this Christmas. 

Sing as one, 

Sjc 

Choosing to See Ignorance

Dear Readers, 

Everyone faces adversity in life. Everyone struggles. But how we as the strugglers view the people who cause or perpetuate these adversities defines us far more than the struggles themselves. 

I see two options for how we view those who add to our struggles. On the one hand there are ignorant people who don't understand what life is like for others and therefore make decisions that hurt the struggler. On the other hand we see arrogant people who frankly don't care or whose priorities don't include the opportunities of others. 

While there is significance in the hearts of these two types of decisions that people make, the struggler is not meant to be the judge. That job is left to God and the men and women he's appointed as earthly judges in some cases. For those who struggle, the job is to choose our view of these people in our lives. 

For me, there's a conscious decision to see those who influence my struggles as ignorant rather than arrogant unless I have clear evidence of an intentional action. Usually, there's more ignorance than arrogance going on, although the egotistical part of humanity that puts the cares of others at the bottom of the pile is still a constant issue. 

But choosing to view these as issues of ignorance has incredible implications. First and foremost, it means that I can still love them. It's really hard to love someone when they intentionally hurt you or make decisions that explicitly add to your struggle. Of course, we are called to love everyone regardless of their actions, and I'm so grateful for that gift of grace. But from a practical and daily standpoint, it makes if far easier to appreciate others when I view their actions as stupid. 

The other implication is that there's hope. If people make decisions that hurt others out of arrogance, there's hope, but it rests far more on the shoulders of the arrogant one than the struggler. But there's possibility when ignorance is the issue because education and experience can often dismantle some of these misconceptions or misunderstandings. And from an eternal perspective, there's the future hope that ignorance and arrogance will both be thrown into a lake of fire one day. My, what a joyous picture that will be. 

All this said, both ignorance and arrogance often coexist. This has an enormous call to our hearts. We must evaluate ourselves every moment for how our actions and decisions impact others. This consciousness can overcome all sorts of issues that rest in both ignorance and arrogance. It's our job to be agents in the world who seek out justice in whatever circles we find ourselves. And when people hurt us, when we are surprised, or perhaps more when we are sadly not surprised by the people we love and care about who break our hearts, we can choose hope. We can choose to believe that our efforts are not unnoticed nor unimportant within the context of providing opportunities for everyone. We can consciously choose to make this world accessible in every way for all people, starting with our attitudes. 

Sing as one, 

SJC 

The Ability of Choice

I was thinking today about the ability of choice. That might sound funny to a lot of people, especially people who are generally not limited in their choices. Think about some of the seemingly mundane choices you might make. Perhaps you want to take a certain route on the way to work. Other times, you might want to stop and grab something from the grocery store on your way home from church. Even the opportunity to choose where to go out for dinner, attend church, or work are unlimited choices for many people.

But choice is in many ways taken away when we're dealing with disabilities. Shouldn't everyone have the opportunity to choose? Is free choice a fundamental right? I would suggest that it is, because if not, we have a terrible division in society. We reinforce the haves and the have notes when we see limited choices.

Shouldn't I be able to choose to drive the round=about route to work so that I can watch the sunrise over downtown Grand Rapids? Shouldn't I be able to grab a gallon of milk from the store on my way home? Shouldn't I be able to choose whether to buy my clothes at Goodwill or at Macy's, regardless of their proximity to the nearest bus stop? Shouldn't I be able to attend the church I want to regardless of its location? Shouldn't I be able to choose whether to leave at 7:30 or 7:45, choosing my own time within my own schedule?

If you're reading this and think these are silly desires that I should just get over, you're missing the point. Of course, the inability to choose cannot consume my life, or I would be too bitter to change anything. But you can choose all of these things. You have the ability to choose the little things that make you smile, make life more efficient, or just make you feel like you have a sense of dignity. But for many people in our society, this choice is removed.

I don't know the answer. I don't know how to fix this. For me personally, it likely means that I will one day hire a driver or live in a large city (or both) to overcome some of these geographical challenges. But the notion of choice and its importance in one's life remains.

 Still, I will say that the inability to choose, or perhaps we could call it a choice disability, does require me to have some dependence on other people. This might seem difficult to me and burdensome to others in some moments. But it does keep me ever aware of the importance of relationships. This also gives a job to those who have the ability to choose. This is a calling to support those who are limited in their choices by society's structures. Be aware that you are blessed with your given abilities and jump in to help others. Offer a ride to a friend. Be cognizant of barriers. And most of all, care. Actually, honestly, and intentionally let others know that you get it. Be real. Agree that it sucks. Then figure out a solution together.

We are a body of Christ. We are a community. This means we support each other. Not supporting is frankly not an option. It's about diversity and differences. We are called to care for all people. See the limitations. Verbalize the differences. Then love on another.

Sing as one,
SJC

Stop Faking It

Dear Readers, 

This past week, my philosophy capstone has been discussing race and culture. I'd like to share my recent journal reflection on differences in our society:

We have identified the issues of race within education. We have considered the possibility that race is actually a human-made categorization that has negative connections to a student’s success in school. We have also examined how teachers can rise above the current teaching methods to expand learning for all students. This incorporates a knowledge and appreciation for all cultures.

Still, I think the most important part of dealing with this racial issue and developing culturally responsive pedagogy is one that connects with my ethical vision. This is the idea that we must be intentional and obvious. So often, differences are the elephants in the room. We as human beings have a terribly tendency that desires to be “normal.” This is far from what our Creator once made us to be, fearfully and wonderfully made, with everything about us known to God. But not everything about us is known to one another.

I can relate to this very well from the perspective of someone with a disability. Disclosure is such a tough question, because it has so many parts. When? How? Who? Why? Frankly, there are situations such as walking in a dangerous area or traveling on a bus alone when disclosing my disability, a hidden disability to the naked eye, would likely cause more harm than help. But what about other situations? What about the grey areas of life when we have to make a choice whether or not to expose the reality of the label society has given us.

I can think of countless moments in the past few years when I have struggled to decide when and how to share about my disability. Often enough, these questions only float through my mind once things are already awkward. It happens after my ride is late to take me to a meeting where my colleagues don’t know I’m blind. It happens after I awkwardly drop my silverware in my lap at a fancy restaurant or awkwardly walk slightly behind my date to his car because it’s too dark for me to see him side by side. It happens after I walk around the store 17 times to find a particular item that I can’t see, passing the same service clerk each time.

This is just like the issue of race and cultural differences in our society, except that race and culture might actually be more identifiable than my disability. But the notion is the same. They must be handled in an open and honest discussion. This leads to the same disclosure questions as disability, because we still need to decide exactly how to approach this discussion. Is it actually going to take the form of a classroom discussion of differences? How are we going to incorporate many cultural ideas into our classroom? How does the teacher know what cultures are represented in his or her student group?

I don’t know all of the answers to these questions, because they require context within the classroom itself. But perhaps more importantly, I do understand the importance of honesty. If our society could find a way to make differences shine, we would be so much stronger. In other words, if could somehow just face the fact that we are all uniquely made to fulfill specific roles in God’s world, perhaps this awkwardness would be gone. Perhaps we could move past trying to impress people. We could move towards feeling comfortable about the many gifts and blessings that God has given us, knowing that whatever extra challenges or differences we might have don’t really matter.

My fear is that this is too far into the ought-side of life. Our society is in a continuous spiral of narcissism. We want to be the best, have the biggest, and do the most. Making the best impressions, winning everything, and appearing to have it all together is what our society strives to accomplish. This means that those of us who can pause to recognize this significant issue in our society need to shout a little louder. We have to be voices for differences, qualities that are labeled as both good and bad by our world. We have to defend the dignity and honor of all people. We must realize the abilities in all of us. 

Sing as one,

sjc 

Little Joys that Break the Heart

Dear Readers, 

Today, I experienced another situation that might amaze those who can drive cars. It's the little things that we forget to be thankful for that may be surprisingly absent in someone else's life. 

Tonight, my college hosted its annual scholarship banquet for students to meet their donors. I've attended the previous events while in school. Tonight, I got all fancied up and ready. But my ride never showed. 

I was originally planning to take the city bus, because I like being able to provide my own transportation like everyone else. But my school offered for a van that was transporting other students with disabilities to stop by my apartment on the way to the dinner. I thought this would be nice, especially since it's freezing outside. Waiting for the bus seemed silly when I had a warm van waiting. But they never called and never showers. Apparently, they got lost. 

The funny thing is, I wasn't surprised. Okay, that's more numbing than funny. Transportation can be such a huge issue, one I've experienced time and time again. 

While I commit my life to fixing some of these broken systems that hurt those of us who face extra challenges each day, don't forget to be thankful for these little blessings if you are able to drive. Smile every time you're in traffic, because you can get to work by yourself. Smile when you are tired of driving long hours, because you can go where you want when you want to go. Smile when you have to scrape off your windshield in a blizzard, because you can get to dinner on time. Be thankful. And remember that although these are mundane comforts to you, their absence may be breaking another's heart each day. 

Try singing as one, 

Sjc

Yes, I Know Where I Live

Dear Readers,

The other day, I was riding the transit for people with disabilities in town. It's kind of my go-to solution when the weather is gross or when the city bus doesn't accommodate my travel needs. I'e been using this system for nearly a year now.

I was heading home from an elementary school where I teacher aid twice a week as part of a class requirement at Calvin. For the entire 20 minute trip, my driver argued with me about where my apartment was located. He began by saying that he knew where my street is but that there were no houses that could have my address because there were new houses on that side of the street. I proceeded to explain that I'm in an apartment building, which did not help at all. He continued to treat me like an idiot, as if I didn't know my own address or how to get there.

I find this interesting, because he had no knowledge of why I ride his transit system. Obviously, since it's a system for people with disabilities, he knew I had something that kept me from driving a car home. But my visual impairment is never listed on the drivers' information. He treated me as if I was just some dumb quack. And I thought about my students who have cognitive impairments, and I realized even they, in elementary school, know their own addresses.

Of course, my driver had no idea that I actually have a wonderful gift of direction and location. (I got that from my dad!) Nor did he stop to think that I, his client, could possibly be right. We don't run disability services like businesses where the client is always right; we so often see this kind of service as pity or sympathy. This model for how we treat others has no room for dignity, something that should be give not every person, different or not. Dignity comes when others see you as equal or at least not as inferior, as someone with a mind, heart, and perception.

Don't look down on anyone. Whether they are labeled as disabled or not, never make someone feel inferior. If you do, you'll end up being like my driver, who didn't say a single word once I guided him the last few miles to my apartment complex (which was indeed the correct address).

Singing as one, (and still rolling my eyes at such ignorance),
SJC

So You Think You're Better?

Dear Readers,

I've been pondering lately the influence of superiority and inferiority in our society. You don't need to look far to see that we value some people and their characteristics more than others. Depending on the factors, there may be some truth to our categorization. But in many cases, I think we miss the point.

Do you think your occupation makes you better or worse than someone else? Well, from your own perspective, you may not imagine yourself less. But we are so good at elevating ourselves. This is a generalization, which can cause trouble, but from a broad view, we are a rather arrogant society.

Perhaps we can look at wages as a way to rank jobs in our society. We might, in that regard, consider CEOs, professional athletes, and some medical disciplines as the highest ranked jobs. Teachers, managers, and small business owners might be in the middle. The lowest ranked jobs might be fast food workers, mechanics, and sales representatives. Again, this is very generalized.

Here's the problem: We tend it mistake earnings for worth. In other words, we correlate finances with value. Income usually connects with one's socioeconomic status, classifying the above occupations as more of a high, middle, and low class society. This might be clarified further to the wealthy, the comfortable, and the poor.

There are many different variables that might determine one's place within our society's structuring of social hierarchy. but there's an important notion, and frankly a wrong one, that must be considered. Does money or labor make you better than someone else? Does a CEO who wears a $300 suit every day and travels between his/her 3 executive offices have any more worth in society than a middle-aged McDonald's drive-thru worker? Let me rephrase this. Is a highly educated brain surgeon who makes $200,000 a year operating at the nation's top hospital have more importance than a cognitively impaired mechanical assistant who lives with government assistance?

Our value cannot be considered in terms of dollars or by the work we do. I believe we are all important within all of the many circles where we find ourselves each day. Perhaps this is in part a connection to the Romans passage where Paul considers the importance of all parts in the Church. In a similar sense, we all have value in our society, regardless of how much we make or how much others feel we contribute.

This carries enormous implications within education, economics, and government. But I want to contemplate what that means on a personal level. It means that we view one another as made in the image of God. That includes NFL players, business executives, pizza deliverers, teachers, lawyers, and every other person, employed or unemployed, in our world. That means that while we might categorize one another for other reasons, our fundamental view of every person should be the same. We all have great worth and great importance. Let's act like it.

Let's sing as one,
Sjc

Time Wasted?

Dear Readers,

It's somewhat common knowledge that taking city buses or even transportation offered to people with disabilities can significantly add time to one's daily routine. I decided to do some math. 

First, here's an average week of trips I have taken with how long it would take to drive a car for such trips:

5 trips to and from schools to teach, 15 minutes each way, totaling to 2.5 hours 

1 trip to and from church at 20 min. 

1 trip to volunteering at 20 min. 

3 trips to study at a coffee shop totaling to 1 hour

1 trip out for dinner at 20 min. 

1 trip to and from the store at 30 min. 

That's a grand total of 5 hours it should take me each week to get around town. Now, let's look at my average actual time during a week in October on the bus:

School trips: average 1.5 hours each way, at 5 round trips, totaling 15 hours 

Church: total of 3 hours 

Volunteering: total of 2 hours 

Studying trips: total of 3 hours 

Dinner out: 3 hours 

Store: 4 hours 

That's a total of 30 hours. That's 6 times the amount of time it would take someone to drive. 

Implications: 

Does this imply that people with disabilities or who cannot drive a car for whatever reason (illness, poverty, you name it) has 6 times fewer obligations in their daily routine than everyone else? That's a rhetorical question. Yes, public and disability transportation systems do provide opportunities. But with unreliable schedules and overbooked routes, we have a long way to go till we find justice. 

Sing as one, 

Sjc

Responsibility to Love

Dear Readers,

While teaching today, I was working with a student who has a difficult home life. The student is a first grader with a moderate cognitive impairment (aka and IQ between 40-55).  My student has often been scared at rest time and needs some serious TLC.

But beyond being scared, he also feels unloved. He is often saying that nobody loves him. This isn't like a teenage girl who thinks the world is out to get her but deep down knows her parents love her. This is a kid who might honestly never hear that his family loves him. 

This made me think of the powerful responsibility that's within all of us to show others, but especially children, how much they're loved. My student was so caught up in this terrible feeling that he couldn't do his schoolwork today. But I wonder what other areas of life this impacts too. 

Of course, at the end of a long and hard day, my greatest joy was hearing this same student yell "I love you, Miss. C. " as he boarded his bus. We give love, even if we don't feel loved. It's a tragically beautiful phenomenon. Still, I hope my undying love for this precious child can somehow shine through the clouds of doubt in his life. 

It can be difficult for some people to show love. Sometimes fear or insecurity, perhaps masked by arrogance, inhibit our ability to love. But to love is our calling. We are meant to see all people, regardless of any attribute that's labeled as different, bad, or abnormal. We are made to see all people as fearfully and wonderfully made, worthy of true and honest love. 

Singing as one, 

SJC 

Just Once

Dear Readers,

 This video caught my attention in class Thursday night. I'm not much of a crier, but this one even brought tears to my eyes. It made me think about how beautiful life can be when we give someone a chance. It doesn't have to seem like a big deal to the world. But to one person, especially someone with significant obstacles, that little moment might be everything. To someone who often hears "no," a small "yes" might mean opportunity. To someone who is often excluded, a simple invitation might mean confidence. For someone who is labeled as different, a chance to find common ground might mean the world.

 Something to think about:
Video Link

Singing as one,
SJC

Starting Out: Stories

Dear Readers,

I've decided to start this blog as I've realized the importance of our stories. We all have a unique blessing of experiences that impact our lives in different ways. Throughout the many circles in which we find ourselves day to day, all of the "stuff" of life gives us personal perspectives. I have realized the power of my own story more and more as I have developed my advocacy skills and experiences, finding my place within God's world as a voice for others. It is my hope that by sharing some of my stories, I can provoke questions and encourage others. Thanks for joining me in this journey.

 Singing as one,
SJC

"Great I Am"

I want to be close, close to Your side
So Heaven is real and death is a lie
I want to hear voices of angels above
Singing as one

Hallelujah, holy, holy
God Almighty, the great I AM
Who is worthy, none beside
Thee God Almighty, the great I AM

I want to be near, near to Your heart
Loving the world and hating the dark
I want to see dry bones living again
Singing as one

The mountains shake before You the demons run in fear
At the mention of the name King of Majesty
There is no power in hell
Or any who can stand
Before the power and the presence of the great I AM